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Saturday, August 7, 2010

Great is Great, but Awful is Funny

The other day, I went out with a group of coworkers and their friends.  I met somebody who I believe to be the most arrogant person in the greater Columbia area.  We’ll call him Steve, which isn’t his real name, because I’m not sure about the rules for portraying somebody in unflattering, if accurate, light.  I had the misfortune of getting seated next to Steve, as it was the only available chair. 
I’m awkward around big groups of people, especially people I don’t know very well, so I was being a little on the quiet side.  Steve is a fairly short guy, with enormously broad shoulders.  I’ve decided that he needs them to support his gigantic head.  To his credit, I believe Steve was trying to keep me involved in the conversation.  He chose an unusual way to do it, though.  Whenever he made a point, which was fairly often because he was arguing politics with somebody else,  he’d reach over and whap me with the back of his hand.  I think he was trying to get me to agree, but as a friend put it, it’s a conversation, not tag team wrestling.  You can’t tap me in.

I gradually shifted in my chair so that I was sitting half off the side opposite him, and he only noticed when he had to lean waaaay around the table to smack at me.  As the discussion got more heated, I tried to join a conversation a bit further down the table.  Since I wasn’t listening closely, I’m sure I missed out on some tidbits, but my attention was caught toward the end.  The guy Steve was arguing with said, “We can just agree to disagree.”

Steve replied, “No, we can’t - you’re wrong.”  He quickly followed it up with, “But one of us has to be wrong, so don’t feel bad about it.” 

I was so stunned by this that I said, “Wow, you’re an ass!”.  It sort of killed the flow of conversation, but it did stop him from trying to tap me in anymore.  It wasn’t very pleasant sitting next to him that evening, but I have had more fun telling this story and quoting him to people over the week to make up for it and then some.  I think that’s why it's fun meeting people, whether they’re great or awful.  If you disagree with me, you’re wrong, but one of us has to be, so don’t feel bad about it.  Muahahahahahahaha (that's an evil laugh).


  1. Maybe you could record that "evil laugh" and put some audio to this post! You know what my evil laugh sounds like, so hear it in your head right now :)